how to teach reflection

despite what you might believe, writing is not the most challenging part of the essay. the tough part comes at the beginning, when we ask our students what matters to them and why. you can help your son or daughter explore how they exhibit their most significant traits or characteristics. that’s the first step toward reflection.
 
we know that most high school students spend a lot of time thinking and talking about friends, moving out of the house, figuring out life, choosing a career and deciding which college to attend. if you teach your child how to reflect before the next admission cycle starts in late spring, you will all be better prepared for the last phase of this journey to college. find out what’s important to them and why.

the good news: you are more than ready for this challenge.

at wow, when we help our students reflect and focus up front, the rest of the process moves much more smoothly. too many students start in the wrong place. they come to us full of ideas about topics, with little consideration of the essay’s purpose.
 
all too often, students look for activities that might lead to stories, and they waste a lot of time talking about their experiences and their accomplishments. when they do this, they do not answer the prompt, which, no matter how it’s worded, is really asking students to show some insight into those experiences or accomplishments. that’s reflection.
 
encourage your child to start at the beginning of the process – a conversation with you. you know what’s amazing about your child; help your child figure this out, too.

make a list

what makes your child so wonderful?
what do you love about this person you’ve raised?
is your son kind? resourceful? compassionate?
is your daughter industrious? funny? patient?
think about qualities and characteristics, not accomplishments.

what are you waiting for?

find a time to sit down with your son or daughter, then share and listen with an open mind and heart. this is a journey into self-discovery to teach your future college student how to be introspective and find meaning in life experiences.
 
this is a key conversation to help your child answer the one question that can really help hit that essay out of the ballpark: what do you want to share with colleges that they don’t already know about you, beyond grades, test scores and extracurricular activities?
 
once your child can answer this question with a specific trait or characteristic, he or she will be able to find a meaningful story that illustrates that trait and also answers the prompt.
 
if you can get your child to this point, your son or daughter will be ready to continue the process of discovery – and will be prepared to write those essays this spring or summer.

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this prompt can be one of the most challenging for students. the questions often look like these, which are taken from current and past years’ applications:

new york university: nyu’s global network provides students with hundreds of academic areas of interest for students to cultivate their intellectual curiosity and to help achieve their career goals. whether you are entirely undecided about your academic plans or you have a definitive program of study in mind, what are your own academic interests? feel free to share any thoughts on any particular programs or how you might explore those interests at nyu on any of our campuses.

cornell university college of engineering: tell us about an engineering idea you have, or about your interest in engineering. describe how your ideas and interests may be realized by — and linked to — specific resources within the college of engineering. finally, explain what a cornell engineering education will enable you to accomplish.

university of michigan: describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate college or school (including preferred admission and dual degree programs) to which you are applying at the university of michigan. how would that curriculum support your interests?

barnard college: what factors influenced your decision to apply to barnard college, and why do you think the college would be a good match for you?

in every case, a student’s answer should address three important areas:

• the school: what attracts me to this college or program?
• the student: what do i want readers to know about me?
• the stories: how does what i know about the program mesh with what i want readers to know about me? how can i illustrate this intersection?

this time of year, we receive many essays from students who want a professional review before they submit their applications to colleges. more often than not, these essays are not quite ready.

i just read a beautiful piece from a student answering the “why college x?” prompt for a big 10 university. immediately, i noticed something was wrong.

full of descriptive details about the school’s location and football stadium, the story painted a vivid picture of the long drive to and from the school in the family car with his dad, an alumnus. this young man was clear he wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps; he was comfortable inside the stadium; he was certain he would feel at home at this university.

unfortunately, the essay did not answer the prompt. the prompt asked students to discuss the “unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate college or school.” he didn’t say a word about classes, learning communities or other aspects of the undergraduate experience.

many students have very little idea what a school offers academically, socially or culturally. sometimes students choose a college because of its location or its status. each year, we meet many high schoolers who insist that a school is perfect because the student bleeds the university’s colors, feels at home inside the football stadium and loves listening to stories around the thanksgiving dinner table from dad, aunt lisa and cousin diana, all enthusiastic and accomplished alumni.

students, this is not what colleges want to know! while it is okay for you to tell them you will be comfortable on campus, they are more interested in their school and what the college or program has to offer. do you have the chops to succeed academically? are there any clubs and activities to support your outside interests? why do these factors matter to you?

tips from inside the admissions office

no matter which college you choose, the decisions makers are looking for the same thing from this supplemental prompt. it really is: why do you want to be at a particular school? what makes you a good fit? is it a match?

look at the prompt. is it asking about the school in general, or a particular program that interests you? as always, make sure you answer the prompt.

barnard’s director of admissions christina lopez suggests students ask themselves a series of questions before answering the “why college x?” essay prompt: do you prefer small classes with a lot of interaction with professors or large lecture classes? what type of community appeals to you? are you looking for a diverse environment? do you prefer to be close to home? do you want to study abroad, conduct research, do an internship or study in a rigorous academic environment?

“the supplements separate a good applicant from a great applicant,” lopez said. “the more you can espouse why you are a match in the short answer question genuinely (without regurgitating our website to us because we wrote it!), the more you will stand out to us. it is a great place to let a college know if we are the first choice, and why you love us.”

at wow, we talk all the time to high school counselors, parents and admissions representatives like lopez. we write and speak at college industry conferences with senior managers from admissions offices at the nation’s most selective colleges. that’s how we know that at its core, any college essay is about reflection. and that’s how we also know that colleges – no matter how selective – all want the same thing in a personal statement or supplemental essay: they want students to respond to the prompts in a meaningful way that shows insight into the student’s character.

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many students get excited over ideas they think will get attention inside the admissions office, without considering what the college essay prompt is really asking.

at wow, we tell our students they are starting in the wrong place when they come to us with an idea! that comes later in the process, and starting with an idea can lead to mistakes.

you’ll avoid basic mistakes if you set aside your idea and start the college essay at the beginning of the writing process: understanding the prompt. we talk to admissions officers all the time, and they all say the same thing. they want you to answer the question. many students fail to do this, year after year.

to answer any prompt correctly, ask yourself this question: what do i want the readers of my application to know about me apart from courses, grades, and test scores? think about what they already know about you (primarily accomplishments), then consider what they don’t know yet (characteristics or traits).

your answer is key to your success on the essay. it’s your opportunity to shine, to offer readers some insight into who you are beyond your grades, test scores and activities.

colleges want you to dig a little deeper than usual to show some insight and reflection. how do you learn how to reflect? think about your best traits and qualities.

are you industrious? resourceful? curious? hard working? once you know which traits and qualities you want to share, read the college essay prompt. then find a story that answers the prompt and illustrates those traits.

take a look at this common app prompt that we parsed for our students. our coaches use the same approach with students completing other common app, coalition, applytexas, california and supplemental essay prompts.

common app prompt 1

some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. if this sounds like you, then please share your story.

the key word in this prompt is “meaningful,” but even that word can seem big and overwhelming. what makes an experience meaningful?

ultimately, your essay is not about your background, identity, interest, talent or experience; it’s about you. why is this aspect of your identity, background or experience so meaningful? have you learned something about yourself?

admissions officers read these essays to find out something they don’t already know about you.

they know your grades. they can see which sports and clubs you’ve joined from your application. they know what types of courses are offered at your school, and whether your neighborhood is wealthy, poor or somewhere in the middle. they can even figure out which types of books you’ve read if you took american literature. your transcript provides them with a wealth of information.

they don’t know how anything you did during high school affected you, who you met along the way or why you cannot get a particular piece of music out of your head. they have no idea how you have changed or why you might be a good fit for their school.

your challenge is to write an essay that illustrates something meaningful about you. we can help you do that with any prompt for any school.

take advantage of wow’s free resources and tip sheet so you’ll be prepared to start writing an effective essay that gets noticed.

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